Here I am with excerpts from my brain.

Here I am. Another sleepless night in the life of Emily Louise. Except for this time it is due to the fact that I came home from work and slept for five hours. Oops.
Needless to say my mind is racing right now and I am wide awake.

A couple of stories..

Today at work a mother and her two biological children from my home ward came in. She asked if we had any gluten free bread and when I told her no she settled for soup and a cinnamon roll for her little girl who was in a blue leotard. Her little girl is absolutely adorable. I have always thought so. This mother is a hero. Literally. A hero for our country and for me. As my co-worker and I made sandwiches we watched her little boy play on the bench as the mother and daughter ate their food. I leaned to my co-worker and said, "she has an amazing story."

I attended my home ward on Sunday and congregated with great people after sacrament meeting, as I used too. We talked about the Olympics and how the athletes have trained their whole lives to be at the level of greatness they are at now and some of them are younger then I am. While talking with these older, creditable ladies I degraded myself on several accounts. I kept making a joke of myself and coming across as the 'funny one, who is lazy and hasn't accomplished much ' The ladies I was talking to all looked at each other and said "Emily, you don't give yourself enough credit.''

There was one night down at Ephraim I was driving around on back roads in a truck with my roommate and a friend. We were taking turns asking questions and answering them. One question really stumped me. As our friend asked what our biggest accomplishment in life was, I didn't know what to say. Frankly, I don't remember what I said. I remember what he said though. He was a convert to the church and he was so very grateful to have the gospel in his life and that was what he was most proud of over everything else. My roommate also answered with an intellectual story that changed her life.

Right now at 2:16 AM I am thinking about those words 'she has an amazing story' and wondering what my story is and what I have accomplished. Right now I am realizing that a little credit and positive thinking can go a long way..

"Starting a phrase with, I Am, is pretty bold don't you think? It made ME a little uneasy at first, anyway. When you start a sentence with "I Am..." You are stating something that you believe in. You're telling someone that you are totally confident, and that you ARE what you say you are, no excuses.

I love it.

 

In today's society we are always trying to be better. Skinnier, prettier, richer... that sometimes we forget to just stop and look at how great we already are; to take a few minutes and ponder on all the things that we have already accomplished, or the amazing talents we already posses."

 

I found myself at this blog a couple hours ago. The House of Smiths. I haven't looked at this blog for years and there it was. What I needed to read.

Giving yourself a little credit is not prideful and or cocky, a Statement starting with "I Am..." is incandescently honest. Someone who is confident and honest with themselves believes that they are of worth. The scriptures say that my price is worth more than rubies, I just need to believe that. I keep saying I want happiness in my life but I don't give myself credit. I catch myself looking at the negative instead of the positive. I have to sell myself to others, not degrade myself. Carin is right, happiness is a choice and part of being happy is believing in yourself. Telling yourself that you are what you think you are, even if it is bold.

As I asked an Uncle how his granddaughter was this past weekend, he told me that she is so happy and personable. She lights up when she sees people. My Uncle then told me that I do the same. That I have a great smile and a wonderful spirit.

I can't let what a wonderful Uncle said disappear by not believing in myself. Will Smith said "Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions." Amen Will. Amen. I am who I am. Growing confidence is key. Don't let others tear you down.

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. Right now I am thankful for the moments that open my mind and help me come to another realization.